Funny Picturesd From the Civil War

June 25, 2022 Post a Comment

A tall tale ... The tallest (Per this story) man in the Union Army was Capt. David Van Buskirk of the 27th Indiana Regiment who stood 6 feet 11 inches and weighed 380 pounds. He was captured in 1862 and was sent to a Richmond Prison where a Confederate entrepreneur put him on exhibit & they split the proceeds. Even Confederate President Jeff Davis came to see this giant & was astounded when Van Buskirk claimed, straight faced, that back home in Bloomington Indiana, "when I was at the train station with my company , my six sisters came to say goodbye. As I was standing there, with my company, they all came up to me, leaned down and kissed me on top of the head." lol

Soldiers were foraging despite orders & one evening an Officer smelled a pig his soldiers were cooking. He found the pig roasting over a camp fire and asked who the soldiers were that stole it. A Corporal came to attention and confessed, "sir, I was on picket duty and when I heard a noise and I called out for the pass word. All I heard was oink and that
not being the countersign I shot him. We were just going to bring him to your tent for a proper court martial and have you pass judgment. 😁 The Officer, suppressing a laugh, said " bring only a part of him and I will pass a partial sentence." lol

10 years ago

One funny story I remember that my uncle told me as a kid was the story of Wilmer McLean. First Bull Run was fought in the fields of his farm at the beginning of the war. Because his house was struck by artillery fire during the battle, he decided to move...to Appomattox Court House. Grant accepted Lee's surrender in McLean's parlor four years later. McLean would tell everyone for the rest of his life that the war began in his front yard and ended in his parlor.

10 years ago

I remember one funny story, and I'm probably mistaking some of the people involved, but it involved Confederate officers during one battle.

Lee, I know he was there from the story I read, but some other officer was with him, I think Longstreet, was on a hill astride horses overlooking a battle.

I want to say that Stonewall rode up to them and was speaking to them. But I am really not sure if it was Stonewall. A Union cannonball came flying by and took off both the front legs of the horse that officer was on. And in shock he kept trying to dismount his horse, which had fallen directly forward but not on its side. He kept trying to throw his leg backwards to dismount, but because of the angle he couldn't dismount that way.

Lee and Longstreet offered advice to throw his leg over the head of the horse to dismount, and they were kind of laughing about his situation while they were doing it. Eventually the officer got over his shock and followed their advice to successfully dismount his horribly wounded horse.

10 years ago

Johnny Reb wrote:

I remember one funny story, and I'm probably mistaking some of the people involved, but it involved Confederate officers during one battle.
Lee, I know he was there from the story I read, but some other officer was with him, I think Longstreet, was on a hill astride horses overlooking a battle.

I want to say that Stonewall rode up to them and was speaking to them. But I am really not sure if it was Stonewall. A Union cannonball came flying by and took off both the front legs of the horse that officer was on. And in shock he kept trying to dismount his horse, which had fallen directly forward but not on its side. He kept trying to throw his leg backwards to dismount, but because of the angle he couldn't dismount that way.

Lee and Longstreet offered advice to throw his leg over the head of the horse to dismount, and they were kind of laughing about his situation while they were doing it. Eventually the officer got over his shock and followed their advice to successfully dismount his horribly wounded horse.

Aww, poor horse! ☹️

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10 years ago

Rebelchick wrote:

Johnny Reb wrote:

I remember one funny story, and I'm probably mistaking some of the people involved, but it involved Confederate officers during one battle.
Lee, I know he was there from the story I read, but some other officer was with him, I think Longstreet, was on a hill astride horses overlooking a battle.

I want to say that Stonewall rode up to them and was speaking to them. But I am really not sure if it was Stonewall. A Union cannonball came flying by and took off both the front legs of the horse that officer was on. And in shock he kept trying to dismount his horse, which had fallen directly forward but not on its side. He kept trying to throw his leg backwards to dismount, but because of the angle he couldn't dismount that way.

Lee and Longstreet offered advice to throw his leg over the head of the horse to dismount, and they were kind of laughing about his situation while they were doing it. Eventually the officer got over his shock and followed their advice to successfully dismount his horribly wounded horse.

Aww, poor horse! :(

I thought the same thing but I didn't say anything. I thought it was really sad. ☹️

10 years ago

Copper77 wrote:

One funny story I remember that my uncle told me as a kid was the story of Wilmer McLean. First Bull Run was fought in the fields of his farm at the beginning of the war. Because his house was struck by artillery fire during the battle, he decided to move...to Appomattox Court House. Grant accepted Lee's surrender in McLean's parlor four years later. McLean would tell everyone for the rest of his life that the war began in his front yard and ended in his parlor.

I've always remembered reading about that and always thought that was one of the most amazing things that happened. Imagine the odds, no one could have planned that if they wanted to.

10 years ago

Copper77 wrote:

One funny story I remember that my uncle told me as a kid was the story of Wilmer McLean. First Bull Run was fought in the fields of his farm at the beginning of the war. Because his house was struck by artillery fire during the battle, he decided to move...to Appomattox Court House. Grant accepted Lee's surrender in McLean's parlor four years later. McLean would tell everyone for the rest of his life that the war began in his front yard and ended in his parlor.

Lol, that's a good one! 😄

10 years ago

Mike D. wrote:

A tall tale ... The tallest (Per this story) man in the Union Army was Capt. David Van Buskirk of the 27th Indiana Regiment who stood 6 feet 11 inches and weighed 380 pounds. He was captured in 1862 and was sent to a Richmond Prison where a Confederate entrepreneur put him on exhibit & they split the proceeds. Even Confederate President Jeff Davis came to see this giant & was astounded when Van Buskirk claimed, straight faced, that back home in Bloomington Indiana, "when I was at the train station with my company , my six sisters came to say goodbye. As I was standing there, with my company, they all came up to me, leaned down and kissed me on top of the head." lol
Soldiers were foraging despite orders & one evening an Officer smelled a pig his soldiers were cooking. He found the pig roasting over a camp fire and asked who the soldiers were that stole it. A Corporal came to attention and confessed, "sir, I was on picket duty and when I heard a noise and I called out for the pass word. All I heard was oink and that
not being the countersign I shot him. We were just going to bring him to your tent for a proper court martial and have you pass judgment. :woohoo: The Officer, suppressing a laugh, said " bring only a part of him and I will pass a partial sentence." lol

LMAO! Love the pig story!. 😄

10 years ago

I'm borrowing this one from another website. Out of respect though, I must say, RIP unknown Union Officer, whomever you are.

A rebel soldier, after burying a Federal who had been killed during one of those sanguinary engagements which terminated in the retreat of the Union army from before Richmond, fixed a shingle over the grave, bearing this inscription:

"The Yankee hosts with blood-stained hands
Came southward to divide our lands
This narrow and contracted spot
Is all that this poor Yankee got!"

😄 😄 😄

#10

10 years ago

Can't tell thru a cursory glance of the posts, so forgive me if it's been repeated, Union troops laying seige to Vickburg, and in the process they were digging a massive gun powder pit in a mine beneath Rebel lines, hoping to create a sizable opening. At the appointed time, the fuses were lit, and in due course the pile of powder erupted. The Rebel long since aware of the scheme, deposited themselves safely out of the center of excitement. An old black man reclined comfortably, catching the mornig breeze, when of sudden felt himself propelled through the are into the arms a sturdy, unscathed tree. Except for the excitement of ordeal, was nonetheless unscathed,

Another humorous tale I heard long ago about Ole Abe, but you have to concede Lincoln had a sense of humor (he did) Once when riding the court circuit, he was warned again and again by another judge that the bridge over XY Creek was shaky and heavy with spring run-off. "Wall," Lincoln drawled, "I suspect I have enough worry than a bridge, It's my experience that such bridges are best worried about when one comes to then

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#11

10 years ago

Ajhall wrote:

Can't tell thru a cursory glance of the posts, so forgive me if it's been repeated, Union troops laying seige to Vickburg, and in the process they were digging a massive gun powder pit in a mine beneath Rebel lines, hoping to create a sizable opening. At the appointed time, the fuses were lit, and in due course the pile of powder erupted. The Rebel long since aware of the scheme, deposited themselves safely out of the center of excitement. An old black man reclined comfortably, catching the mornig breeze, when of sudden felt himself propelled through the are into the arms a sturdy, unscathed tree. Except for the excitement of ordeal, was nonetheless unscathed,
Another humorous tale I heard long ago about Ole Abe, but you have to concede Lincoln had a sense of humor (he did) Once when riding the court circuit, he was warned again and again by another judge that the bridge over XY Creek was shaky and heavy with spring run-off. "Wall," Lincoln drawled, "I suspect I have enough worry than a bridge, It's my experience that such bridges are best worried about when one comes to then

LOL, no, I haven't seen those yet. 😄

#12

10 years ago

Pvt. David Holt of the 16th Mississippi Infantry, ANV (A Mississippi Rebel in the Army of Northern Virginia) averages a funny story per probably every five pages of his memoirs, which I am currently rereading. I'll have to put something here from it after work.

Glad I decided to reread it....it sheds some light on my
"Smoothbore vs Rifle" study, he mentions that there are some Jews in his regiment (which is mostly from Southern Mississippi), tells numerous stories of what they did for pastime while in camp, gives a Southerner's view on slavery and tells of both his home experience with eight slaves, and his brother-in-law's plantation with 350 slaves, lots of stuff that relates to various threads here.

I've read it a few times before but without interests in particular topics you kind of read past a lot of it.

#13

10 years ago

The Ugly Contest: (David Holt had described himself as ugly a few times previous to this, he was very small and skinny, and although he was 19 by this time, he was considered a child, I guess he looked like an ugly child lol)

One morning after roll-call, Tommy yelled out: "Attention, Company K! I hold in my hand a brand new Barlow knife and the ugliest man in the company gets it. The man is to be picked by majority vote. The polls are now open and will close at evening roll-call, when the votes will be counted and the winner gets the knife. Trot out your candidates."

Bill Ogden was the first man nominated; I was next, and Jim Walker was the last nomination. But although Jim would have liked to win the knife, his backers backed off, and he was withdrawn from the contest.

Some fellow said: "Why you can't run that man in a non-beauty contest. Look at his eyes. Jim, the Lord started to make you a gal, and after he had given you those glory eyes, he changed his mind and made you an ugly, smelly man. You could not, in honesty, vote for yourself."

"I wish he had made me a gal," said Jim, "then I wouldn't be in this mess."

"Jim, you are a liar, you don't wish any such thing," came the answer. "It's better to own a gal than to be one. And you won't get a vote, so get out of the race." And he got out.

That left Bill and me contending for the prize. They trotted us up and down the company street and kept us so busy that we hardly had time to eat. We were accompanied by our respective supporters, who pointed out in minute detail our points of ugliness.

I voted for myself, and Bill for himself. Tommy carried the polls around, and I urged the voters to cast their ballots without delay, but many preferred to wait.

It came nearly time for evening roll-call, and all the company, including the officers, gathered in the street. Then someone shouted, "Strip 'um!" We got stripped and I stood out, clothed only in modesty.

Bill, however, was clothed from head to foot in hair that looked like copper wire. His hump shoulders and crooked back and long dangling arms were supported by flat feet, extra big knees, and crooked legs. All of the fellows who had waited, including the officers, voted for him and he got the Barlow.

Bill survived the war without a very serious wound, and married a beautiful woman. But I was not backward in that matter myself. Bill had the impudence to offer me the loan of the Barlow.

(A Mississippi Rebel in the Army of Northern Virginia, the Civil War Memoirs of Private David Holt. edited by Cochran and Ballard. LSU Press, 1995.)

#14

10 years ago

Captain Jonathan Harrolson CSA, came up with a plan to collect urine from civilians. Harrolson objective was to extract ammonium nitrate from the urine for use in manufacturing gunpowder. Tank cars were sent to Southern cities to collect urine. This was very unpopular for the times, as one can imagine, & Confederate wags quickly made sure Harrolson's name & mission would live on in song!

John Harrolson! John Harrolson!
You are a wretched creature,
You'Ve added to this bloody war
A new and awful feature.
You'd have us think while every man
Is bound to be a fighter,
That ladies, bless the dears,
Should save their Pee for nitre!

John Harrolson! John Harrolson!
Where did you get the notion,
To send your barrel round the town
To gather up the lotion?
We thought the girls had work enough
Making shirts and kissing,
But you have put the pretty dears
To patriotic p i s s i n g.

John Harrolson! John Harrolson!
Do pray invent a neat;
And somewhat more modest mode
Of making your saltpetre;
But tis an awful idea, John,
Gunpowdery and cranky,
That when a lady lifts her skirts,
She's killing off a Yankee!

😁

#15

10 years ago

LOLOL I love that one. Mac posted a link a while back to someone singing this song. As Mac mentioned, maybe people back then weren't as prudish as we think they were!

#16

fstroupe

10 years ago

I would imagine that half of the soldiers and most civilians would blush at someone else singing that song.

#17

10 years ago

I don't know if this could be considered a funny story, but it is an "odd" one.

When Cpl. Mike Scannel of the 19th Massachusetts displayed some reluctance to carry the flag at Cold Harbor, his regimental commander said, "I'll make you a sergeant on the spot." to which Scannel replied, "That's business," grabbed the colors, and led the troops forward.

Dylan

#18

10 years ago

I don't know if anyone else but me would consider this a "funny" story, but for me it's black humor at its finest (courtesy of Abner Small, "Road to Richmond")

[The 16th] was in the vicinity of Bethesda Church, receiving desultory Rebel battery fire. No one got the least excited, until a batch of new unblooded recruits came on the scene:
"[J]ust as they arrived a huge shell exploded over their heads with a shattering crash and a spatter of iron. [The recruits scattered in a panic]…One man was hit; [and] a fragment of iron took his right thumb off. He started running aimlessly around, holding up the bleeding stump and howling; but a veteran corporal stopped him with a scolding."What ye makin' such a hell of fuss about a thumb fer? There's a man over there with his head shot off, and he don't say a damned word. I'm ashamed of ye."

It's even better when you can mentally hear the corporal speaking in a thick Maine/Downeast accent.

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#19

10 years ago

BTW Dylan, you have the "honor" of putting up the 11,500th post on the Forum!

#20

10 years ago

Wow! That's an honor! I'll try to live up to it and maybe make the 12,500th too! 😊

Dylan

"Courage is being scared to death -- but saddling up anyway."

#21

10 years ago

This is more a civil war related blooper then story. But I think this picture is hilarious & had to post it. I dont think this poor guy has any idea what he's wearing...

The Blooper

#22

10 years ago

When questioned by some Indiana troops as to whether she was "Secesh" or "Union," an old mountain woman replied, "A Baptist, an' always have been." 😊

Dylan

#23

10 years ago

When the 3rd Wisconsin broke at the battle of Winchester (25 May 1862) Maj. Gen. Nathaniel Banks called out¸

"Stop men! Don't you love your country?"

whereupon one of the fleeing men replied,

"Yes, by God, and I'm going back to it just as fast as I can."

Dylan

#24

10 years ago

When Hetty Cary—one of a trio of cousins who were the

"prettiest women in Virginia"

and outstanding lights of Richmond social life during the war—waved a Confederate flag from her Baltimore window as a Federal regiment marched by, the colonel declined to arrest her because,

"She is beautiful enough to do as she d amned pleases."

Dylan

#25

10 years ago

There is a tale that when a Felix von Salm-Salm—informed Lincoln that he was a scion of one of the oldest and noblest families in Germany, the president replied,

"Oh, never mind that, you will not find that to be an obstacle to your advancement."

Dylan

#26

10 years ago

At the battle of Wilson's Creek (10 August 1861), Confederate Brig. Gen. Sterling Price was grazed by a musket ball fired by one of Union Brig. Gen. Nathaniel Lyon's men, whereupon the corpulent Rebel remarked,

"That isn't fair; if I were as slim as Lyon that fellow would have missed me entirely."

Dylan

#27

10 years ago

Arriving early and in mufti for an appointment with a lady whom he had not previously met, John C. Breckinridge was asked for three references, to which he replied,

"Former Vice-President of the United States, former United States Senator, and Major General, Provisional Army of the Confederate States of America,"

whereupon his embarrassed hostess explained that he had been mistaken for an applicant for employment as a footman.

Dylan

#28

10 years ago

So confused were the lines during the battle of the Wilderness that at one point a group of Federal infantrymen blundered into a group of Confederates and, thinking themselves outgunned, quickly fell back, thereby missing a chance to bag Robert E. Lee, A.P. Hill, and J.E.B. Stuart, who were conferring with their staffs. 😊

Dylan

#29

10 years ago

When criticized for alleged errors in his memoirs, William Tecumseh Sherman replied,

"I may be wrong, but that's the way I remembered it. These are my memoirs, not the memoirs of anybody else!"

Dylan

#30

10 years ago

Informed by a medium that a distinguished Indian chief in the next world wished to speak with him, Lincoln is said to have replied,

"I should be happy to hear what his Indian majesty has to say. We have recently had a visitation from our red brethren, and it was the only delegation, black, white, or blue, which did not volunteer some advice about the conduct of the war."

Dylan

pendletonhises1939.blogspot.com

Source: https://www.americancivilwarforum.com/funny-civil-war-stories-826721.html